I want to relay a powerful experience I had at an elementary school Back to School Night this week. I attended the first session with some of the relocated refugee families that I work with, and didn’t think much of it – it was a pretty typical presentation by the teachers, something that I have taken part in dozens of times.

As we went out to dinner (kudos to this school and their community partners, who provide dinner for families at Back to School Night), one of the parents asked me how she could help her kids with her homework, because sometimes she understood it and sometimes she didn’t.

This conversation got me thinking – was she walking away from B2SN feeling empowered to partner with the school to help her students, or dis-empowered because she didn’t have the requisite skills?

As we went back for the second session (siblings!), I tried to listen to the presentations through that lens. I heard many great ideas from teachers about how parents can help, such as “read to/with your child,” “read clocks with them,” “talk about numbers in your everyday life,” etc. And it made me think…if I couldn’t read with my child or read a clock myself, how would I feel? Would I see a place for myself in this home-school partnership, or would I leave the education of the kids to the school?

Let me be clear…the teachers didn’t do anything wrong. Of course we want to provide ideas for how parents can be involved and help their students at home! And the ideas they provided were perfectly appropriate.

I also want to be clear…while these parents may not be literate (in English or their own language), they have a multitude of skills and things to contribute to their child’s education, and they WANT to be supportive and involved.

I’m just wondering how we bridge the two. I don’t have any perfect answers, but I think it is important for us as educators to think about how an event meant to connect families, when viewed through a different lens, may actually be subtly doing the opposite. And maybe, just having that little bit of perspective and sensitivity can lead to a conversation or comment that helps ALL families feel empowered to take part in the education of their students.

I’m so grateful for this moment to step into the perspective of this parent to learn something new. I’ve never thought about this before, and I hope that it will spark some small change in me…and others…in the future!